Introduction: "Marriage in the Free Church"

Unitarian-Universalists regard marriage as one of the most significant "passages" a human being will experience in his or her lifetime. It is indeed a momentous occasion and should rightfully be accompanied by both ritual observance and festive celebration. While Unitarian-Universalists do not agree with the Roman Catholic position that marriage is a "sacrament" requiring ecclesiastical sanction, we expect that couples married in our tradition will take their commitment just as seriously. We believe a wedding should reflect the unique personalities and intentions of a specific couple, as well as accurately represent the faith tradition that provides the context for the occasion.

Certain legal requirements are satisfied when a couple is joined in wedlock by a Unitarian-Universalist minister. A license must be procured from the County Clerk's office within a month of the ceremony, which must be duly signed and witnessed. At the very least, the law requires that an oral vow or oath also be exchanged by the couple. Yet a wedding ought to accomplish more than merely fulfilling the letter of the law. Equally important is that the couple recognize the spiritual dimension of this covenant and that they cherish the memory of the wedding day for the rest of their lives.

Couples come to the First Unitarian Society to be married for many reasons:

1. We are more open and flexible about the design of the ceremony;

2. We will perform ceremonies for couples from different faith traditions;

3. Membership in our church is not required in order to be married by our clergy;

4. UU ministers often are willing to officiate "off-site" — in parks, private homes, and other venues;

5. We do not stigmatize couples who have been cohabiting prior to marriage, or because one or both parties have been married previously;

6. We are a "Welcoming Congregation" and perform Services of Union.

Why do we operate this way? Because ours is a liberal, non-creedal church that places a high value on individual freedom and dignity. It is not for the church's benefit, or to satisfy the institution's standards, that you are getting married. Thus we do not think there is any single "right" way to plan a wedding. We are concerned about facilitating the growth of your relationship and helping to lay the groundwork for its next phase.

A Word about Services of Spiritual Union

For as long as men and women have walked on the earth, there have been some human beings who have shared their deepest expression of love with a person of the same gender. Our faith tradition has grown to recognize the validity and beauty of this special way of loving. Unitarian Universalism strives to address and assuage the prejudice and the consternation that homosexuals have had to bear for loving unabashedly by offering to perform "Services of Union." It is our hope that one day all true love partnerships will be legalized and fully affirmed, but presently Wisconsin does not grant legal recognition to gay and lesbian couples.

Practical Matters

In Closing